First, a small back ground for those who don’t know about my life.
I am 30 years old. I spent 9 years with my daughter’s father. We split up for good on July 6th, which would have been our 9 year anniversary. I have moved out. I made an attempt at dating another man, and it blew up in my face. Now, I am single. This time, I shall stay single.
I have come to accept that I am a woman who would say many things, and follow through with few. I am not letting this happen this time around. I am staying with friends to save up for a place to call my own. Plus they needed the assistance with bills anyway. So it is a win/win situation. I am spending time with my daughter as I can. Having no vehicle limits my time with her drastically. It is just another speed bump I shall have to creep over.
What is the main point of my post, however, has nothing to do with the “responsible” aspects of my new life. It has everything to do with the power within myself, and the things I want to find.
I have always been more about talk than showing. I recently was told to stop talking and just do it. I am living as a single woman in the Show Me state, after all. Mostly, I just want to get all my thoughts out of my head and down for me to read over, and for me to share.
The biggest goal for me is empowerment. I want to walk down the road with that sense that I am someone to turn heads. Maybe not for my looks, but my confidence. I am not going to lie down and take the loads of shit that have been tossed my way. I am going to stand up, head held high, and scream in everyone’s face. I am tired of being the one who takes care of others. This time, I am taking care of me.
Sexually, my new views may get me called a slut. I don’t care. A woman who is comfortable enough in her own skin, and brave enough, to walk up to a man and be blunt about her desire to have raunchy, dirty, no holds barred sex gets loads of respect from me. I have recently been speaking to men about very casual, very open sexual arrangements. I am, unabashedly, a pain slut. I desire a Master on the side. I may have found one in the most unlikely of places. I have made certain things very clear to this person. Such as the lack of exclusivity. I am single. I may choose to let a man dominate me, but I will not let another man tie me down emotionally. I don’t want a loving and caring sexual experience. I want to test the limits of my pain tolerance. I want to reach new heights of nirvana through this.
For some, pain and spirituality go hand in hand. In the past, I have found the beginning edges of the pain euphoria. I want to wrap myself up in that blanket instead of tickling my toes on the frayed fringe.
Within every woman is a power waiting to be unleashed. Every woman needs to find an outlet for that power. For me, it is to rediscover my sexually adventurous side. What’s yours?
I am 30 years old. I spent 9 years with my daughter’s father. We split up for good on July 6th, which would have been our 9 year anniversary. I have moved out. I made an attempt at dating another man, and it blew up in my face. Now, I am single. This time, I shall stay single.
I have come to accept that I am a woman who would say many things, and follow through with few. I am not letting this happen this time around. I am staying with friends to save up for a place to call my own. Plus they needed the assistance with bills anyway. So it is a win/win situation. I am spending time with my daughter as I can. Having no vehicle limits my time with her drastically. It is just another speed bump I shall have to creep over.
What is the main point of my post, however, has nothing to do with the “responsible” aspects of my new life. It has everything to do with the power within myself, and the things I want to find.
I have always been more about talk than showing. I recently was told to stop talking and just do it. I am living as a single woman in the Show Me state, after all. Mostly, I just want to get all my thoughts out of my head and down for me to read over, and for me to share.
The biggest goal for me is empowerment. I want to walk down the road with that sense that I am someone to turn heads. Maybe not for my looks, but my confidence. I am not going to lie down and take the loads of shit that have been tossed my way. I am going to stand up, head held high, and scream in everyone’s face. I am tired of being the one who takes care of others. This time, I am taking care of me.
Sexually, my new views may get me called a slut. I don’t care. A woman who is comfortable enough in her own skin, and brave enough, to walk up to a man and be blunt about her desire to have raunchy, dirty, no holds barred sex gets loads of respect from me. I have recently been speaking to men about very casual, very open sexual arrangements. I am, unabashedly, a pain slut. I desire a Master on the side. I may have found one in the most unlikely of places. I have made certain things very clear to this person. Such as the lack of exclusivity. I am single. I may choose to let a man dominate me, but I will not let another man tie me down emotionally. I don’t want a loving and caring sexual experience. I want to test the limits of my pain tolerance. I want to reach new heights of nirvana through this.
For some, pain and spirituality go hand in hand. In the past, I have found the beginning edges of the pain euphoria. I want to wrap myself up in that blanket instead of tickling my toes on the frayed fringe.
Within every woman is a power waiting to be unleashed. Every woman needs to find an outlet for that power. For me, it is to rediscover my sexually adventurous side. What’s yours?