Since the SO and I opened our relationship, we have been far more honest and open about our feelings. This is definitely a bonus. I could never imagine my life without him. After conversations with him and mutual trusted friends, I have come to realize the true depth of his feelings for me, and his dedication to do literally anything to keep me in his life. I didn't see it before. At some points, I don't honestly know if I cared. Now I see, and I care. More than I ever realized I could. I love the father of my daughter with so much more of my heart than I did before. I don't need to hear him say it nearly as often as I used to. Now I just feel it.
As for what I am finding out about myself, there is a lot more to me than I even realized. Having sex with other men casually is opening my eyes to my inner self much more. I have found that I am much more interested in the non-vanilla side of sexuality than I even thought possible. There have been conversations with men (and women) that made even my eyes go wide...and then made me even that much more eager to know more.
Every man I have been with to this point has been more than happy to follow safety precautions. It's not only my safety to be concerned for, after all. I do not want another child either. So, being cautious doesn't take away from the fun. It actually adds to it because there isn't that odd weight of not knowing.
I am getting to know more and more people as well. Friendships are blooming. Surprisingly, men are more willing to talk and become friends during and after a casual sexual encounter is either talked about or takes place. Maybe there is a tension there that is no longer there after. I am continuing to view this as both the active participant, but the casual observer as well. I like to see this whole thing as a learning experience and a social experiment. I am having a blast on top of it.
I am becoming a social butterfly. Imagine that. Me! Socially exploring.
Don't even attempt to judge me, if you want to. I don't care. You may see me as a slut. Again, no fucks given. I am feeling far more free, far more beautiful, far more....ME! So any haters can take a flying fucking leap off a really tall cliff into a shallow river full of jagged rocks. Yup. That's about right. Be hateful around someone who isn't smirking as they write this.
Oh yeah, and I am a celtic pagan....sex is part of my nature.
BLESSED FUCKING BE BITCHES
As for what I am finding out about myself, there is a lot more to me than I even realized. Having sex with other men casually is opening my eyes to my inner self much more. I have found that I am much more interested in the non-vanilla side of sexuality than I even thought possible. There have been conversations with men (and women) that made even my eyes go wide...and then made me even that much more eager to know more.
Every man I have been with to this point has been more than happy to follow safety precautions. It's not only my safety to be concerned for, after all. I do not want another child either. So, being cautious doesn't take away from the fun. It actually adds to it because there isn't that odd weight of not knowing.
I am getting to know more and more people as well. Friendships are blooming. Surprisingly, men are more willing to talk and become friends during and after a casual sexual encounter is either talked about or takes place. Maybe there is a tension there that is no longer there after. I am continuing to view this as both the active participant, but the casual observer as well. I like to see this whole thing as a learning experience and a social experiment. I am having a blast on top of it.
I am becoming a social butterfly. Imagine that. Me! Socially exploring.
Don't even attempt to judge me, if you want to. I don't care. You may see me as a slut. Again, no fucks given. I am feeling far more free, far more beautiful, far more....ME! So any haters can take a flying fucking leap off a really tall cliff into a shallow river full of jagged rocks. Yup. That's about right. Be hateful around someone who isn't smirking as they write this.
Oh yeah, and I am a celtic pagan....sex is part of my nature.
BLESSED FUCKING BE BITCHES